Wanted: New PR firm needed to cap the well on #BP Chairman's Mouth and Shut-down Email

I'm sorry, but for a global company that produces close to $20 billion a year in PROFIT, its almost unbelievable to read/hear about the ongoing and obvious errors that keep spewing from the company's PR machine.

Oh, that's right; they have Dick Cheney's former PR wizard on their payroll now. Makes perfect sense to..who?

Who allows a guy that, even though he's the Chairman of the Company, to speak to the US media, despite not having a perfect grasp on the English language and related nuances.?

Yesterday, BP's Swedish-born Chairman appeared before the press as he exited his meeting with President Obama, and said (paraphrase), "Of course we have compassion for the little people in the Gulf area, and we're doing everything we can to help those little people.."

What about the big people?? What? He believes that the only people impacted are a handful of local residents and businesses?
Oh..maybe he thought that only children and dwarfs have been impacted..?
OK, so it was a language nuance, and no doubt that he was trying to articulate that BP is sensitive to the devastation that's flooded the area..

Rule #1 re: PR/Crisis Management. No matter how fluid a crisis (pun intended), make sure that whoever speaks to the media is someone that speaks the local language fluently.

Rule #2. Investor Relations. In connection with implicating emails attributed to BP's investor relations senior exec; NEVER...(can you spell n-e-v-e-r) use email to communicate messages that are guaranteed to be misconstrued, taken out of context, or incorporate opinions such as "Yeah, 15 people got killed when the refinery blew up, but the good news is that it happened on a Friday in front of a long weekend. By the time Tuesday rolls around, it'll become a non-issue with the media; we've got nothing to worry about. 

Here's an idea: Do not allow PR/Investor Relations executives with access to email, unless they have a certification in best practices and use of email within a corporate environment. Period.

While we're on the topic, I'm inclined to suggest that President Obama issue an executive order that turns off the Internet for 6 hours per day. That'll slow down the distribution of un-confirmed, unsubstantiated, or completely false news reports, and in turn, reduce the world's anxiety levels.

Oh..I guess Pfizer wouldn't allow that type of thing to happen.

To Sarah Palin and your fans:

While inadvertently tuning in to Bill O'Reilly (I was looking for the World Cup Channel), I heard you say " We need to bring in experts from Denmark to help with the BP crisis; after all, they have all of that expertise plugging dikes in dams!"

Sarah, I'm often apolitical, and just want to vote for the person that I think will do the best job; but in all due respect, with all of the money that you're minting these days, do yourself and your party a favor: hire an elementary school tutor before you go back on the road, and certainly do it before you speak to the media again..